Alicante, 7th February 2008
sponsored annually by www.ibexinsure.com
Game sponsor Steve Lamb of www.ecashback.co.uk

24 members of the White Coast Golf Society met at the Alicante Golf Club ready to do
battle at the crack of dawn of the 7th of February. Well to some people on the Costa
Blanca 10 am is the crack of down so no apologies. It proved to be a strange day for
many. Yours truly turned up with golfer wife, car, handsomest of hats, golf clubs, golf paraphernalia, clean balls but no wallet. It’s the best way possible to get John Williams
to stand a couple of rounds of golf.

Due to frost, yes, due to frost on a cloudless day’s morning, the tee off time was
postponed for an hour. This gave many members time to get to know the bar staff
whilst others were invited to join Mike Ayrton’s impromptu seminar on how to correctly
calculate and record the Stableford handicap system. During the long wait and due to
Andy Werber’s foolish miscalculation of actual needs, each player received a copy of
the official book of golf rules. Why cause unwarranted concern and confusion to the
uninitiated majority is beyond understanding?

The game set off with at least two ecstatic members and it’s still unclear if Nancy Prior,
of the naked ankle fame, was happier having to play in the company of three men than
Rod “Statto” Edgerton who played with three ladies. Maybe the latter as he was heard
to yell a loud Tally-Ho on receiving the team draw news!

The course was as good as ever despite one temp green and some major improvement
works. Praise is deservedly given to the Alicante ground staff as well as to the smiling
and helpful ‘front of house’ team. If only others venues were as good or as caring.

After the game, Joe Schulein had to be wheeled into the clubhouse and given a rub down due to heavy-handed treatment from his playing partner Dennis “turn-key” Purcell. It took a few jars of the dark grape nectar to revive poor Joe at great expense to all. Bless him for rallying round - eventually.

The prize giving was, as usual chaired by WCGS’s leader Gary Stone. He seemed
unusually subdued, as he too had had a “strange day”. Thing is, that his
ex-great-friend Chris Evert had caught up to him in their private number of games won competition to 14:13. Gary promptly declared that the competition was over for ever
and ever, that improving golfer Chris was not welcome to stay for weekends away
from Blighty any longer, that the house locks have been changed, that a contract was
out to break a finger or was it a leg… How sad for a friendship to end in this manner!

It was unanimously decided that the WCGS is still the best looking society on the
Costas, Pego please note! All members are handpicked and breast-fed! It was further
decided that if any member’s handicap reaches 38 or higher, that he should play in a
ladies dress with hat and gloves to match! Congratulations were given to “Cheshire cat”
smiling Gordon Sellars for somehow bewitching his new partner Caryl Skelton into his
life, whom we welcome into the membership.

Our sponsor Mr. Steve Lamb was thanked for the prizes, which he had so tastefully
picked out from the bottom shelf of his favorite Chinese discount shop. On a serious
note though, all who use the Internet must check out Steve’s free shopping channel.
Via www.ecashback.co.uk, each purchase gives an automatic discount so it’s a win-win
situation all round!

Deserving to be mentioned in this dispatch are; nearest the pin Mike Prior (3) and
Ron “Statto” Edgerton (12). Nearest the pin ‘in 3’ was Dean Stogsdill. Unbelievably,
despite the hair pulling, eye scratching and tearful argument, the longest drive had to
be shared between Alan Evans and Norman Jermon. The winning team consisted of
John Forbes, Mike Prior, Keith Geddes and John Williams whilst Mira P. got the Lady
Player of the day. Individual prizes were; (4th) Brian Woodhouse, (3rd)
Dean Stogsdill, (2nd) Ken Seaman and Top Gun to the charismatic, tall, handsome,
generous and gorgeous John Williams who wiped the floor clean with his 41 points.

Mr. Alan Evans, full of beans, guessed the number of the day’s lost balls at 78 and
pocketed a fistful of euros. The lost ball averages to 3.25 balls per player, a
momentous fact as supplied by Mr. Rod “Statto” Edgerton, for which we stay forever
indebted. We should also thank “Statto” for preparing and handling all our scorecards,
but that would be one mention too many.

Report By Ceda

Details of membership or lessons call Gary 696695914 or
email society@whitecoastgolf.com