El Plantio, March 2008

Sponsored by Style Lettings www.stylelettings.com
For your entire letting needs email stylevilla@terra.es
Ring Barry or Ellie 0034 9657 48208 0034 619 521 725

Photo shows ‘Lovely’ Ken Jacques being presented with the top loot and
a red WCGS winner’s shirt by tall, dark, handsome, gravel voiced, ex-Tony
Curtis double and look alike, “El Presidente Dos”, Mr. John Williams

I hate the “lovely” Mr. Ken Jacques! Since Christmas this man has managed to lose
some 12 kgs, and you, my dear reader can guess who found the full dozen!
The WCGS game at El Plantio on the 5th March was played in unforgiving, Siberian,
“brass monkeys” weather. How our colleague Barry Heath could play and finish a full
round with only a short-sleeved shirt is beyond logic and understanding. The skin on
many a frozen hand was equal to a mature elephant’s butt, both in texture, colour
and look. As for messed up hairstyles, there were two contenders for the perfect Ken
Dodd look alike. Caryl Skelton came a close second, but yours truly gets it by the
toothy grin. Thank you Mr. Medvedev but don’t send us these northerlies, not eve
r again!

Not all was doom and gloom. There was many a moment of optimism. “El Chairman”
Gary Stone did the whole round with his wrap around sun specs covering the top of
his head. This did nothing for his game but yeah man, he did look cool.

The game, in spite of the fastest greens on the Costas, was unbelievably slow. In the
six hours, Dream Team Uno had ample time to share some anecdotes and general
words of wisdom. We learned from the ever funny, turn-key, Mr. Porridge man alias
Denis Purcell that saying aloud “Ken Dodd’s dad’s dog’s died” is quite the most useless
bit of witticism ever, but it helped to pass the time. Open University costs money but
with Denis, all this knowledge comes for free.

Rod “Statto” Edgerton was very excited to explain, for the report, how Mira P. had
inadvertently played his ball on the 16th, how this had cost her a two points penalty
and yet, how this had advanced his lye by some 70 odd meters. There’s more but I
don’t want to fall asleep yet! I only mention this due to a promised bribe, other
members please note!

Our sponsors for the day were Style Lettings in spite of their director and friend Barry
Darlow not being able to attend in person. Style Lettings are a quality Costa Blanca
company who are going from strength to strength…………………..

Sue Horsfall was a welcome guest lady golfer on the day. She said that she enjoyed
our company. Guests can be so polite regardless of their true feelings. Barry Heath
was last seen tucking his winnings into his having guessed the number of balls lost at
only 47 and thus raking in the gigantic WCGS sweepstake.

“Playing the game better than the field” prizes went to:
Mira P., Joe Schulein and Gary Stone, all for being nearest the pin.
The best team was Mira P., Gill Ayrton, Norman Jermon and the “Lovely” Ken Jacques.
Gill Ayrton was named Best Lady.
3rd overall was Mr. Steve Lamb at 35 points on count back.
2nd overall was Mr. Joe Schulein, elegantly copying the leader also with sun specs on
top of his bonce.
1st with 37 points, dressed most elegantly in clothes two sizes too big for him, our very
own and ever so lovely, Mr. Ken Jacques, whom by this time I had ceased hating!
Watch this space for more disclosures on the goings on at the White Coast Golf Society.

Report by Cheda

A gentle reminder…. White Coast Golf we are now extending the society to Valencia.
New members are welcome to apply. If you live in and around the Valencia area and
are interested in joining a fun society that takes its golf seriously then please contact
Andy Werber on 961804972 or 677137824. We hope to be able to play our inaugural
society day some time in April. Dates to be advised. There will be a free gift with your
first year's membership. Teaching facilities are also available and beginners are
welcome.