What a contrast. Last time we came here, it was Blevins Franks Day, and it rained, heavily. We only managed a couple of holes that day, and we had to give it up. Today, it wasn't Blevins Franks day, and it was sunny. Perfect conditions for golf?? We shall see.
Ilona Mathieu knows this course well. She is a member here, and her villa looks out onto the first fairway, just opposite the water. Indeed, she may have seen, in the past, some of us drive off at the first, and slam our ball into one of the palm trees on the left, never for that ball to be seen again, safe in the knowledge that the errant drive wouldn't slam into her villa, thanks to those trees.
Did anyone notice that the course, in general, seemed a bit tidier than usual? A bit more open perhaps? They have done a lot of work, clearing and tidying. But, did anyone notice the palm trees down the left from the first tee?? That they had been pruned, heavily?? Did anyone hit an errant drive, miss the heavily pruned trees this time, and head towards Ilona's, now unprotected, villa? Judging by the fact that she walked passed her place, waved to her husband, who waved back happily, suggested that it hadn't happened up to that point. There were still three groups behind though.
So, she knows the course well and plays there regularly. Had to be favourite, right. Yes, she was knocking the ball straight down the middle and yes, she was never going to lose a ball, but she did say the greens were very different today and putting would be tricky. She was not wrong in that regard. She was coping quite well, even with a few uncharacteristic three putts, until she reached the NP Hole 16.
She was shocked that she didn't hit her tee shot straight down the middle and onto the green, and as soon as she saw her ball sailing towards the bunker, she cried out 999. Ben Wilcock, not really focussed or concentrating, heard the shout, and immediately got his phone out ready to call 999, fearing the worst. He looked at her, saw her annoyed but still standing, then remembered she was German, and figured she was shouting nein, nein, nein. Panic over.
That was the closest Ilona got to swearing as she steadily went about building a winning score of 35 points. Our first Division 1 winner! Full results as follows;
Overall winner
Ilona Mathieu - 35.
Division 1
Winner. Ilona Mathieu - 35
Runner Up. Paul Westerman - 34
Division 2
Winner. Martin Oddy - 31
Runner Up. Neville Richardson - 31
NP's
Hole 3. Ray Gambrill
Hole 16. Christoph Dünwald
LBS
No fancy Callanan formula required by Christoph Dünwald for this one. He only had to know that this was a x3 course, and that his fellow German was playing. He remembered that Ilona never loses a ball. But, he had a man cold and wasn't 100%. Bless. He figured he might not play well, as he was feeling "really poorly", and might lose one more ball than the course average, as a result. So, 26 -1 x 3 +1 = 76.
He wasn't even there at the end to blow his nose, or trombone, or collect his €57 win. Wonder if Pilar gave him grief for going home early, with a cold, but not the money.
We need a Sheriff
There was an International incident between the 8th and 10th tees. Our second group were on the 8th tee. Our fourth group were on the 10th. A Spanish 4some looked like they were getting ready to tee off from one, or the other. Christoph was well enough at that point to tell them nein, nein, nein. They were unmoved. Now, as we all know, your Poster Boy is renowned for being very assertive, so he went back, showed them his order of play, a photo of Captain Jordan, and told them to ***off.
The photo of Captain Jordan did the trick and they trudged off. Ilona said this was, unfortunately, a fairly common occurrence at Oliva, and is due to the absence of a Sheriff. We need a Sheriff.
Back in the clubhouse, all went smoothly this time, and the Poniente wrongs were righted. Our Captain did mention that the draw for the annual matchplay knock out competition would be issued later in the day. Other than that, he was anxious that everyone got away to make sure they were home in time to watch Leeds v Coventry.
Our next Society game is at Alicante on Wednesday 19th February.
As ever, this game will be sponsored by Blevins Franks, International Tax and Wealth Management. peter.hodgkinson@blevinsfranks.com
Our next league game is against The Swingers at Alicante on Friday 21st February.
The draw for the knock out competition is below. Computer random matching! Sounds like Tinder.
And finally, just to be clear, in case anyone thought otherwise with regards to the international incident referred to above, "***off", was "tee off"
Licence to Play
We expect Members to obtain the appropriate Federated Licence valid in Spain. This licence grants permission to play on all the Courses on our schedule and includes the liability and accident insurance required by Royal Decree 849/1993.
As a general guide, resident Members should be looking to obtain an Annual Licence with handicap from their corresponding Spanish Regional Federation. In the Valencia Region the cost is €105.70. There is a one off joining fee of €15.
Non resident Members can also obtain an Annual Licence if they wish. If not, they should purchase a One Day Licence at each course which affiliates them to the Federation for that day's play. A One Day Licence costs €2.
OMG! It is the first time I win something in one of our usual games - and then I‘m not there to collect the winnings? 😵💫😂 999! So what are the society rules? Wine and money have been given to…? Jordan? 🤷🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ Had I known!
Thanks for the report, Martin! 👍🏼
Thank you very much, Martin, for the funny report. You should write novels. And of course one of the more than 60 lost balls,ended up in our garden.
Again, superb report. Ilona must be splitting her sides laughing.